I believe that the most important skill a Financial Advisor can possess is a world-class ability to communicate clearly and concisely.
That includes knowing when not to speak.
There are three moments in a client meeting when it is essential that you do not say anything at all.
In these three instances, speaking can only hurt you.
When You’ve Already Gotten the Yes
The first instance is when a client or prospect has said yes.
There was a point in my career when my enthusiasm got me in trouble.
A client would say to me, “This sounds good. Let’s do it,” and I would keep on explaining.
I was so intent on making my case that I failed to notice I had already made it.
Perhaps you’ve done the same.
This rule also applies when you hear, “I understand,” “That makes sense” or “I get it.”
The lesson: When you’ve gotten to the outcome you were talking toward, stop.
Talking beyond that creates confusion rather than clarity.
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When You’ve Asked a Good Question
The second instance is when you’ve asked a good question.
Don’t answer your own question. Don’t provide choices. Don’t rephrase it.
Embrace the silence and be quiet.
Silence can be deafening. It makes both parties uncomfortable. There is an urge to fill the silence.
Don’t.
We ask a client what worries them most about retirement.
The seconds tick by.
We become uncomfortable and bail them out.
“Is it worrying about running out of money?”
“Is it inflation? Loss of income? Healthcare costs?”
The client was thinking, not struggling for an answer.
We assumed he had a problem and jumped right in.
We have just destroyed the moment by answering our own question.
The lesson: When you ask an important question, give people time to answer it.
When They’ve Said Something Important
The third instance is when the client or prospect says something important.
A client gets personal with you and tells you money is not his concern about retiring. Loss of purpose is. He watched his dad retire and lose his sense of purpose and dignity.
There is a temptation to respond. To relate. To reassure.
Don’t.
The best response in a situation like this is no response for those long seconds.
Let the statement sit there.
Listen.
They may continue talking. They may tell you what they really wanted to tell you.
The lesson: When a client says something important, it’s not always your turn to talk.
You got the yes. Stop.
You asked the question. Stop.
They said something important. Stop.
A Three-Meeting Challenge
This reflex will most likely not come easily to you. You will need to practice and learn through experience.
It’s easy to work on what you are going to say in a meeting. It’s hard to work on what you are not going to say.
I’ll leave you with a challenge.
In your next three client meetings, deliberately notice one moment when you feel the urge to fill the silence—and don’t.
Then afterward ask yourself:
What happened because I didn’t talk?
I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.
Related: Difficult Clients: Is the Problem the Client or the Relationship?
