Like it or not, love and money have long intersected, but thanks to younger generations, that intersection is coming out of the shadows.
That’s good news, but broad progress is hard to come by because the prevailing sentiment among many couples is that financial conversations are still taboo and as such, many couples simply don’t talk about finances, inviting a silence that’s potentially ruinous. By some estimates, nearly 60% of Americans struggle to do “adulting” and have conversations about money. Whether those that are keeping their financial situations close to their vests realize it or not, that lack of conversation could have consequences.
“Money isn’t just influencing financial decisions; it's influencing relationship dynamics, major life milestones and overall confidence,” notes Marc Womack, head of client experience at TD Bank US. “Financial education and planning may help people better navigate these pressures, have more productive conversations and make more informed decisions about their future.”
For advisors working with couples, it pays to find that balance between gentle inquisitiveness and being outright nosy because financial conversations can lead to tangible benefits.
Financial Burdens Are Easy to Spot, Hard to Discuss
Whether couples are financially loquacious or keeping money topics in the dark – hopefully the former not the latter – the stark reality is that many are feeling some form of financial burden.
“Money doesn't just affect relationships. For many Americans, it is shaping when they feel ready to pursue some of life's biggest goals,” notes TD Bank. “Three-quarters of survey respondents have postponed major life goals because of money. Persistent affordability challenges are causing Americans to put important financial and personal goals on hold.”
That gets into another: Money is a stressor for anyone, single or not. So it’s accurate to say financial stress looms large in romantic relationships.
“Money continues to create tension in Americans’ relationships and personal lives,” adds TD. “While nearly half of respondents reported being completely transparent about their finances with loved ones, many avoid or hide financial decisions.”
Social media isn’t help. As TD Bank points out, more than two-thirds of respondents to the Love & Money survey are trying to be perceived as wealthier than they actually are (faking it until they make it) and 53% get to that burdensome state because of things they see on social media.
Confidence Trumps Perfection
I frequently note that advisors aren’t therapists, nor should they pretend to be, but they can be forces for good when it comes to money transparency among couples and fostering more financial confidence among all clients, regardless of their romantic status.
That’s highly relevant because most clients are looking for confidence, not perfection, implying they see value in the former while acknowledging aiming for perfection is aiming for a moving target.
“Despite these pressures, Americans remain focused on building a stronger financial future,” concludes TD. “While many respondents report feeling stretched by the cost of living, they are actively looking for ways to increase their financial confidence through higher income, greater savings, reduced debt and stronger financial knowledge.”
